Purgatory, aka: Blah

I think I'm Alice in the Looking Glass. Or, I'm falling down the Rabbit Hole. Everything that once was safe, is now in turmoil. What once looked like a really BAD idea now has new polish on it. It sparkles juuuuust a little bit.

When do we know when we're supposed to be doing what we're doing? Aren't we supposed to "feel" something or get "a sign"? and what do you do if no sign appears? Nothing, nada, zippo? Then what? I feel like I'm in Purgatory. Not quite right, but not quite wrong. Tired of being the one with all the labels attached to myself; labels like "responsibility" and "adulthood". Why do I have to be the one with the sense of responsibility? Why do I have to be the one to hold the fort down while you go and have your fun? Why aren't WE fun? What's wrong with us?